Points of View

Yesterday, after coming back home with my girls, I had to return to their school to meet my youngest daughter's teachers.

As soon as I entered the room I found all the four teachers (four women, a big problem for me :P ). They welcomed me and we all sat and began to talk.

The Math teacher started to say that K is scatterbrained, that she often uses with no care at all pens, pencils scissors and so on and often loses them. And that's "a big problem that may impair her school career".

I lost my entire pencil case when I was attending my 1st year of primary school. My parents still accuse me of having lost this damn pencil case and yes, I am 41 now... According to her, I would probably deserve to be illiterate. I am planning to get in touch with the University I attended to check the possibility of having my degree revoked for having lost a pencil case while 6 years old. 

Her Italian Language teacher told me that I may use a strategy telling her that I will punish her if she will come back from school having lost something. Well, I have to say that one of my many defects is judging people at first sight. If I don't like you the first time I see you, I will probably won't ever like you, and all that you may say or do will most surely be used against you... I know it's not the best way to deal with people, but alas, that's how I am. I never liked this woman. And yesterday I came out from the school liking her even less.

I never believed in such a kind of education.

I don't have to threaten a kid of punishment if I want him to do something. He won't learn the value of the thing I am asking him to do and the only result I will have will be his being scared of me. 

If I want a kid to learn something that is useful for his life, the only way is doing it using a motivation process.

I will have to teach him to appreciate the positive value of the thing I want him to learn.

Is it difficult? Yes, absolutely yes. 

But it's the only strategy I can use if I want a kid to really grow and not just to develop an automatized behaviour driven by fear.

I will tell K that having all the pencils and school things in her pencil case will allow her not to have to worry if one night I will forget to check it.

I will tell her that putting her pencils in the place they belong will leave much more space on her desk.

I will tell her that if she does what I ask her to do she won't have to pick up her pencils from the floor.

I don't think I will obtain a good result if tonight something is missing again and I will start screaming, or telling her that I will punish her. 

Thanks teacher for having reminded that, once again, even about this issue, I am different!